There
is Nothing to Hide
by Rev. Jerome and Stav Stefaniak
One of the areas that
many people experience difficulty in their healing process is the area of
admitting that they have any negative thoughts or feelings. That is because,
either they think they are being unspiritual, disloyal, or because they do not
want to "give more power to a negative thought
or feeling."
While it is true that
thoughts create, unconscious thoughts and feelings have just as much power to
create as conscious thoughts do. So the answer is not as simple as,
"If I don’t let myself know or admit that I have negative thoughts, they’ll
go away or they don’t exist."
If it were that simple,
our lives would be less complicated. Denying or ignoring feelings means that
they merely lie suppressed in the subsurface of our consciousness, ready to
emerge at times when we least expect it. In other words,
"Whatever we resist
persists."
It has been our
experience, over the many years of personal work, as well as clinical practice,
that the beginning of real deep healing occurs when people are willing to face
and embrace their emotional truths although they may not be so
"pretty." A Course in Miracles says,
"Defenses do what they would defend."
Not acknowledging that we even
have negative feelings is a great defense. The suppression and denial of
these feelings actually sets in motion energetically the attraction of
experiences and people in our lives that will reflect what we are trying to run
away from or hide.
For example, people who
project a "sweet" or "nicey-nice" persona may attract angry
people in their lives. This is Nature’s way of trying to mirror back to us
what we need to pull out from inside us. This does not mean, however, that we
have permission to "let it all hang out" and lash out anywhere at
anybody.
It only means that we
have to acknowledge, feel, process and embrace those aspects of ourselves so
that they no longer control us unconsciously. By doing this we are able to set
healthy boundaries, speak our truths and get in touch with our true power and
love.
This is how healing of
our past wounds is accomplished. It is the only way that we have found that one
truly closes the door to the past. In doing so it frees up our energy to move on
with our lives. By processing, embracing and then releasing these aspects of
ourselves, they no longer have unconscious control over us. It also helps us to
see that it is really safe to be authentic and real.
Living from a place of
defenselessness brings us a lot of lightheartedness and joy. It means that we
have faced the "enemy" within and we got to see that it was just a
harmless wisp of smoke. We get to see there is nothing to hide - nothing to be
ashamed of.
To paraphrase Jesus, all
we need do is to become aware of these thoughts and feelings and then to look at
them, along with Him, without
judgment.
Our egos love when
we get upset when we realize how unspiritual we are. Our egos love when
we fight them in order to gain spiritual supremacy. Our egos love when we
dissect and analyze every one of our faults.
What our egos can’t
handle is very simply - love. Love is the feeling of acceptance. It looks calmly
upon all of our "sins," sees how we punish ourselves and says very
gently,
"Brother, choose again."
This is the process of
what Jesus calls in A Course in Miracles, the Atonement. Or as we like to
break it down as At-One-Ment. By looking and accepting all of the parts
that we judge in ourselves, we are becoming more and more At One with
ourselves. And as we become more At One with ourselves, we also feel that
we are more At One with the world.
And we finally find that
when we love and accept ourselves, just as we are – there is nothing to
defend. There is nothing to hide. By embracing our humanity, we embrace our
Divinity.